Strawberry Muffins
by Keith 'AzureGrimoire' Kurogane
Summary: Seriously... when will Rolo learn that eating random stuff from strangers might put you in strange scenarios... RoloxNunnally/Semi-crackfic. Read and Review
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Really, I don't own Code Geass R1 and R2.

* * *

Rollo woke up finding that the event in front of him is really bizarre. He found himself inside a room filled with pink frilly stuff which he concluded he must be asleep and dreaming about Euphemia, but he found out that his arms and legs were tied on the bedpost via pink towels. A door on his left suddenly opened, revealing Kaguya, Tianzi, Anya and Nunnally who wore only towels and were obviously came from a bath.

"Rollo-kun~" they purred in sync, which creeped Rollo out of his wits. The girls slowly approached Rollo, who was trying to get free from his bindings. He was about to scream for help when he the girls just next to him, already in their birthday suits.

"Onegai Rollo-sama…" They pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

Rollo's world went dark on that point…

* * *

Keith Shiki Kurogane presents…

**Strawberry Muffins!**

**Prologue: Tenshi Ranman Love Power!**

* * *

"Isn't that the title of a opening song of _Seto no Hanayome OVA_?" Nina Einstein asked as she watch _Tokyo Magnitude 8.0_ on her laptop.

"I know…" the Author replied as he went back on his job. He then paused for a bit then mused to himself, "Maybe I should have put, "Rolo's Harem Ending…"

"You have watched _Seitokai no Ichizon_ too much…" Nina shook her head.

* * *

Mornings… the mark of a new beginning for that day. For today, Rollo thinks that mornings should have never existed since he was tired last night in going something with his wives.

And no, it doesn't involve his wives gangbanging Rollo on a bed, you perverts…

_Flashback starts here…_

"Nunnally, left foot on red and left hand on yellow." Rollo spoke as they played Twister.

"Mou… It's too hard…" Nunnally whined as she tried to reach the yellow spot of the Twister mat.

"Ow, I think I'm going to have a cramp." Anya spoke as she tried to get her face away from Kaguya's bosom.

"Can you hold your breath Anya? Its tickling me." Kaguya moaned.

"I can't hold on much longer…" Tianzi's arms were beginning to shake.

_Flashback ends here…_

He didn't know what the last night's game of Twister have to do with his dream, but he know for sure that he will be in another surreal day since he woke up from his bed only to see the sheets dyed red because of blood.

"Damn I nosebleed…" he muttered as he took the sheets and dumped them on the 'To be washed' basket.

* * *

It was a big surprise for Rollo when the people of Japan hailed him as a national hero when Charles declared that Japan is a free nation. When people asked why he freed Japan, he reasoned:

"Because Rollo-kun is awesome…" and he began to cry manly tears.

And since he is the only man in Japan who has a first name Rollo, many people seek for his autograph, kiss, saliva, hair strand, skin tissue, blood, kidney, intestines, sperm cell, D.N.A. and the like…

Adoration just went through the roof.

And when they discovered that he is engaged/married to not one but four VERY beautiful girls in the whole world…

Worship is overrated…

* * *

V.V. was currently playing _Yggdra Unison _on his Nintendo DS when Rollo suddenly entered his room, shut the door, placed various things on the door to stem the tide of rabid admirers/fans.

"Good day to you, Agent Lamperouge." V.V. spoke as he cursed the game he is playing.

"Good day to…" Rollo paused, letting the words sink in, "Agent Lamperouge?"

"Ya." V.V. replied, "As of today, the Geass Directorate will implement the Agent system…" he then threw a manila paper at Rollo, who catches it. "Rollo Lamperouge, designation: Agent X-44…"

"Wait a frigging minute!" Rollo yelled as he did an 'Objection' pose at V.V., "Isn't Agent X-44 already used in the Philippine Movie Industry?! And what's with the Sephirothic Tree in your back?! This is not Evangelion!" True, behind V.V. was the famous Sephirothic Tree from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

V.V. paused the game he's playing and did the famous Folded Hand Trick of Gendou Ikari. "I didn't need you opinion. Anyways, what brings you here?"

"I have a fan problem!" Rollo yelled, almost ready to pull his hair out of his scalp. "The whole nation of Japan annexed me as a national hero and now worships me as if I'm Susanoo reincarnated!"

"Lucky you…" V.V. muttered.

"I'm not! I practically saw fifty fangirls who wants my blood for their shrine! Literally!"

"Well…" V.V. paused a bit before continuing, "Sucks to be you…"

Rollo cried bloody murder.

* * *

Meanwhile at the war council… a.k.a. Kaguya's Room.

"This is bad." Kaguya muttered, "If the situation continues, we will be forced to cancel the World Tour just to protect Rollo-chan…"

"Or worse, disband the band…" Anya piped in.

In the corner of the room, both Nunnally and Tianzi formed devious plans.

The Rollo fans whole over Japan felt a chill run down their spine.

* * *

Rollo quickly turned in a corner as he desperately tried to evade this rabid fans. He paused for a while just to regain his breath.

"Yeah right, laugh at me now Lelouch…" he muttered to himself, "You're not the one who's dealing with very rabid fangirls."

"You know stranger, talking to yourself is the first step to insanity."

Rollo quickly turned around and was a cloaked guy beside a torch that has a blue flame on it.

"Greetings stranger, mind if I offer you some wares?" the man revealed his items to Rollo. Rollo raised an eyebrow when he saw he is selling weapons and ammunition. His face went red when he noticed he is also selling porn films on DVD. He was about to decline when his stomach grumbled loudly.

"Hungry aren't we? Here I'll offer you this box of delicious Strawberry Muffins just for 20 Dollars."

Deciding that it would not hurt his wallet, Rollo nodded, gave the money at the merchant and took the box of Strawberry Muffins.

What Rollo didn't noticed was the warning under the box…

_Manufacturers note: This food item is not to be eaten if you possess any kind of superhuman ability. It may cause that ability to malfunction or mutate into something else… By: Kurogane Manufacturing Corporation._

When will Rollo learn…

* * *

Rollo quickly jumped into Ashford Academy as it's gates began to close. He looked back and winced upon seeing around 100 fangirls, 50 fanboys (not gay), 30 fanboys (gay), and a dozen kids trying to get through. When fanboy (gay) tried to climb over the gate, Rollo quickly picked a pebble and threw it at the fanboy (gay) and it sailed right into the middle of the poor sap's forehead.

"Sorry, but I'm not risking it…" He muttered to himself as he quickly ran towards the Ashford Manor.

Queue generic lightning bolts and thunder in the sky…

* * *

Alice hated Rolo Lamperouge. Ever since he took Nunnally-hime-sama (her words) away from her, she despised the Scion of the Lamperouge Family… and to tell you guys, Lelouch and Nunnally were not counted as Lamperouge since everyone knows that their REAL family name was 'Vi Brittania' and the Lamperouge is like a false/code name or something… but were getting off-topic here.

Anyways, She hated Rolo too much that she decided to off Rolo once she saw him. Unknown to her, while she is thinking several plans on how to recreate the scenes in the movie _Saw _on Rolo, she bumped onto the subject of her mental homicide. Which sent her to the ground, butt first.

"Ow, will you watch where you're going?" Alice spoke in an irritated tone, not caring who she is speaking to as she is busy dusting and rubbing her behind.

"Sorry Alice-chan, my bad."

She quickly turned her head towards the direction of the voice and she was irritated to see that it was Rolo who she bumped into.

'_The nerve of this leech in adding a honorific on my name…' _Alice thought sourly at Rolo.

Rolo, on the other hand, was oblivious to the girl's irritation that was aimed towards him.

Offering a hand, he spoke, "Here. Let me help you get up." He then added a smile at the end of that sentence.

**SHING! *Sparkle Sparkle***

For the second time in her life, Alice's heart skipped a beat. Eh? What happed to the first time her heart skipped a beat? Read CG: Knightmare of Nunnally. Its obvious that she fell in love to Nunnally-chan. And yes, I'm beginning to appreciate Yuri pairings, as long that the pairing is pleasing in the eyes. Anyways, she cant explain why she is feeling this from someone who she must dismember because she hated his guts. Maybe its on how Rolo's hair sway with the wind… or that smile of his that makes her heart warm…

And turning her into a classic tsundere…

(_Ash Like Snow _by The Brilliant Green; Gundam 00 First Season, 2nd Opening)

_sora akaku someru kokutan no yami/  
nomikomareta hoshikuzu tachi/  
hakanaku furitsumoru hai no yuki/_

mitsumeta nageki no mado/  
I never dreamed/  
kooritsuku/  
there I come for you/

…or its because of his eyes that she can't seem to get tired staring at…

_omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni/  
maiagari kudaketa/  
kono sekai ga katachi o kaeru tabi ni/  
mamoritai mono o/  
kowashite shimatteitan da/_

Feeling an invisible force tugging their heads together, the both of them closed their eyes as they both leaned to capture each other's lips…

_kokoro ni hishimeku haitoku no yami/  
kimi no koe ga masui no you ni/  
tsumetaku kankaku o ubatteku/_

mujun o oikakete mo/  
owaranai/  
naze boku wa tatakau no/

tatoeba hikari ga kieusete/  
kono hoshi ga ochite mo/  
wasurenai yo/  
sono chiisa na negai ga/  
aru beki basho e to michibiku/

there I come for you yeah/  
Ash Like Snow/  
is falling down from your sky/  
Ash Like Snow (x3)/  
Let me hear why I have to fight/

'_Why am I doing this?! I shouldn't be falling in love to my enemy!' _ She slightly opened her eyes and saw the distance is getting too close for her comfort. _'But, I have to admit, he is cute in some way… wait! He's the enemy! I don't LOVE him!'_

Somewhere in the year 2312 A.D. Anew Returner felt a disturbance.

"Are you alright Anew-chan?" Lyle 'Lockon Stratos' Dylandy asked his girlfriend.

Anew just smiled at Lyle before replying, "Nah, I have this feeling that someone fell in love with an enemy."

"Like us?" Lyle grinned.

"Yep, just like us…" Anew leaned forward to capture Lyle's lips with hers.

Somewhere, the Innovators, members of Celestial Being and some select people in the _Gundam 00_ universe shivered.

"Why do I get this feeling that we are about to experience something really bizarre desu~" Mileina spoke to no one in particular.

And before you guys purge the Author for an error… to let you guys know, Allelujah and Marie were considered the 'Reunited Couple' since they are already a couple during their childhood…

Back to Alice and Rolo, the two were now approximately 2.5 centimeters before their lips meet in a brain melting, heart pounding, hetero pairing squealing, kiss.

'_I must push him away, he cant get my first kiss… but I cant just push someone like him away… he is handsome, really popular and...' _Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Rolo's lips onto hers. She then wrapped her around Rolo's neck and retuned the kiss passionately.

_kono omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni/  
maiagari kudaketa/  
yami o hiraku eikou to hikikae ni/  
mamoru beki mono o ushinatte kita/  
It's falling from your sky/  
munashisugiru/  
Baby I come for you/_

kudakechitta kakera ni kizutsuku tabi/  
tozasareta boku no kokoro o/  
tsuyoku naru koto o erande/  
koko made kitanda.

In the back of Rolo's mind, an entity known as Ero-Rolo snickered.

"Just as planned." He grinned evilly.

* * *

**Prolouge: CLEARED!**

**To be Continued…**

* * *

Yay! Strawberry Muffins currently planned to have 12 chapters in total but if I have enough inspiration, I my extend it.

Well, Read and Review!

See ya next chapter!

* * *

OMAKE: The Title is Banned by the Geneva Convention… (a.k.a. The Author is too lazy to think of a nice OMAKE title…)

Setsuna F. Seiei, being a pure Innovator, can feel disturbances even before they start. When he felt it, he quickly consulted Veda/Tieria and paled.

"Eh? What's the problem Setsuna-kun?" Sumeragi asked worriedly, "Is there a problem?"

Setsuna could only mutter a single word. "Kurogane…"

Somewhere, the faux Innovators are trying their hardest not to cringe as they felt a lage disturbance headed their way.

"I bet Aeolia Schenberg didn't anticipated a intervention of an Author…" Ribbons Almark spoke to himself.

"Ditto." Regene Regetta could only reply even though he/she is not the one being talked to.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This is getting redundant… I don't own Code Geass R1 and R2… If I did, Euphie should be now jumping Suzaku's bones… if you know what I mean…

* * *

**Strawberry Muffins!**

**Chapter Zero One – Bad Apple!**

a.k.a. Real Men play Eroge!!!

* * *

Nina rolled eyes at the Author's Chapter Title, "You have watched that _Touhou_ PV in Youtube, aren't you?"

Raising his hands, Keith Shiki admitted, "That video is just awesome!" and proceeded to clench his hands and cry manly tears.

"Keith…" Nina could only face-palm at that point.

* * *

At the War Council a.k.a. Kaguya Sumeragi's room, the for girls felt something odd…

"Could it be?" Anya asked the girls. Everyone nodded.

Silence… A few seconds later…

"Awesome! Rolo-kun finally found our group's synchs!" Kaguya cheered.

Everyone gave each other a high-five.

* * *

Back at the Ashford Academy Grounds…

Rolo and Alice were sitting under a sakura tree while holding each other's hand. It was peaceful that day. The sky is clear while sakura blossoms were slowly falling from the tree and rabid fans were running towards them-

"What the hell?!" Rolo was snapped out of his reverie when he saw the fans that he evaded earlier rushing towards him like a bull trying to kill off the offending red cloak in front of them. But in this case, they're trying to mutilate the poor heir to the Brittanian Empire because… they are his fans.

Upon seeing the fans, Alice quickly carried Rolo bridal style and activated her geass 'The Speed'. Every fan got bewildered and pissed off upon seeing their 'idol' being whisked away by another girl that is not a member of his harem.

* * *

Ashford Academy's Gym Storage Room…

"Thanks Alice-chan." Rolo thanked his new girlfriend for saving his skin and other body parts from the rabid fans. "I nev-"

"I-I-I di-did not do t-t-that because I l-l-like you." Alice interrupted, switching her Tsundere mode on, "I j-j-just did that so that I… I mean, you wouldn't get raped in broad daylight… r-r-right, that's the reason… Because you're a-a-a idiot who can get easily raped in broad daylight." she then unconsciously twirled her hair with her fingers.

"But why did you brought me here in the gym storage room?" Rolo asked, almost earning himself a bump in the head courtesy of Alice's fist. What happen is that Alice's foot got caught in the volleyball net, tripping her towards Rolo. And here's the detailed description on what happened…

1. Alice fell towards Rolo, who tried to catch Alice but was pulled along with her.

2. The two were laying on a gym mat while Alice was on top of Rolo.

3. Alice's hands were on Rolo's chest; Rolo's right hand was on Alice's left breast while his left hand was on her waist.

4. Their faces were too close to comfort.

5. The both of them were looking at each others eye longingly.

6. Their heads were beginning to gravitate towards each other.

7. Classic Eroge Scene!

* * *

"Lance of Metherlence!" Reverie Metherlence flying kicked the Author out of his chair. The said Author flew towards the window, only to be saved from the painful fall towards the ground by his leg that was caught in a window grill..

"I knew this fanfiction is the embodiment of your perversion!" Reverie pointed at the Author.

* * *

"Ara ara," A voice interrupted the two, "I didn't know you're _aggressive_ to the man you like Alice-chan… and all places you decided to get it on with him, you picked the gym storage room... Classic, but I still prefer the infirmary."

The looked at the source and paled upon seeing that it was Nunnally.

"Nunna-chan, its not what you think!" Rolo stood up and waved his hands in panic. "And what do you mean you prefer the infirmary!?

"I-I-I wu-wu di-di…" Alice was reduced into incoherent babbling.

Nunnally just waved her hand dismissively, "Neh, that alright. We are planning to add you Alice-chan to our band as our synchs since you're tsundere towards Rolo-kun." She then flashed a heart-warming and assuring smile towards Rolo.

"I'M NOT A TSUNDERE!" Alice retorted angrily.

"Denial Alice is in Denial…" the two spoke loudly.

* * *

By the way, what happened to Lelouch after the events in 'Sudden Marriage'?

"Lulu-kun, please fetch me a glass of lemonade."

"Lulu, please wear this costume."

"Get my wallet inside my room."

"Give me your credit card, now."

Lelouch cried as the girls, namely Shirley, Milly, Kallen and C.C. decided to make him their personal butler.

* * *

Back at Ashford Academy, things were getting out of hand…

"Alstreim!" a Rolo fanboy (gay) pointed at the Knight of Rounds, "Give us our Rolo-kun or we will be forced to mutilate you!"

Glaring at the annoying fanboy (gay), Anya just snapped her fingers and a female entity materialized in the middle of the stand-off.

Anya grinned evilly, while the fans paled in horror. In front of the fans was the Pet-Class/Battle Class Type Alpha Angeloid, Ikaros.

"Master Tomoki has allowed me to use any force necessary to eradicate this recurring threat." Ikaros then promptly activated her 'Uranus Queen Mode' and began to rain multi-directional homing energy beams called 'Artemis' at the helpless fans.

Needless to say, the fans that were after Rolo retreated in a hurry. But they promised to return and avenge their fallen comrades who were 'ganked' by Ikaros.

"Fans and their addiction to DOTA…" Anya rubbed the bridge of her nose to prevent the incoming headache.

* * *

Pendragon, Holy Empire of Brittania…

Schneizel, Kanon and V.V. were playing Texas Hold'em Poker when Charles burst out of his room crying manly tears.

"Finally! I got the Harem Ending of _Come See Me Tonight 2_!" Charles guffawed, much to V.V.'s dismay.

"So, It's eroge now…" V.V. spoke, "You already have a harem, why bother playing those tasteless games?" He was rewarded by a gazelle punch from Charles.

"You MORON!" Charles pointed at the downed immortal, "Real MEN play Eroge!"

"I play _My Girlfriend is the President_…" Kanon spoke, "It's a good game actually."

"Does _Utawarerumono _count?" Schneizel asked.

"I have watched the anime version of it…" Charles told Schneizel, "and all I can say is that the tail grab scene is awesome!"

"You people are freaking perverts!" V.V. stood up and pointed at the trio.

"WRONG!" The three kicked V.V. to the ground. Schneizel then spoke, "Real men are perverts! There's nothing wrong being a pervert. It is in our very soul, in our nature, in our blood. The reason we have these desires is because we ought to have these desires." He then faced his loyal 'disciple' and his father, "Never allow yourselves to be degraded by that…" he pointed at the downed V.V. "…hypocrite, that… that so-called pure minded buffoon. We must indulge in these-"

"I have a question." Bismarck suddenly popped out of nowhere, "I know you got the hard-on for making speeches and all but what's your point?"

"The point is that…" Schneizel then stood on top of the poker table and yelled proudly while doing some manly pose that will make any _Gurren Lagann_ or any manly super robot fan cry manly tears, "Getting the coveted Harem Ending in real life is the manliest thing that has ever happened to any man!"

"Well said my son!" Charles cried manly tears. Kanon and Bismarck soon followed.

V.V., on the other hand, muttered, "Retarded idiots…"

* * *

Back at the Author's House, Keith Shiki suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.

"Why do I that a fellow Author will maim me dead…" Keith mused to himself.

Reverie tsked, "Coffee Pasta-ing is bad you know."

* * *

Strawberry Muffin Chapter One: **Cleared!!!**

Next Chapter: Inochi Mijikashi, Koiseyo Hime!

* * *

Now for the Omake!

Keith Shiki was busy installing Sengoku Rance on his PC when he suddenly felt someone behind him. Turning around, he quickly found out that it was the Witch of Miracles, Frederica Bernkastel, who was standing.

"I need your help, Mad Author of Dementia, Keith Shiki Kurogane."

In the Meta-World, the people who were participating in the Rokkenjima Game suddenly shivered.

"I don't like this feeling…" Lambdadelta spoke.

"Ditto." Everyone chorused.


End file.
